Religion shaped my young mind as the parents that raised me are devout members of the church of christ. From a very early age, disparity poured into my mind paving the way for years of self-doubt, shame, guilt and heavy burden of perfectionistic inner conflict. Stuffed and shaped into the religion box, I unknowingly gave away my essence. I became part of the church and began focusing my growing inner alienation on service to others in hopes to alleviate the impairing co-dependence that was taking hold in my character.
Despite doing as I was told, my heart was despondent. I was disconnected from my authentic self. The lie I was believing convinced me that I would find peace and happiness in an organized religion with people just as lost as I was.
When I chose to leave this indoctrinating box, it had been my world for 25 years. I was a fallen disciple. My soul was naked. My name was stained. Lost, ashamed and broken….I followed my heart for the first time in my life. With trembling hands, I drove away from Sunday Service that morning with my three children, never to look back.
The fallout almost broke me. Finger pointing letters, accusing phone calls, uncomfortable judgmental encounters with christan arrogance continued for months as I struggled to break free from the wounded soul that enslaved me. It was real. So raw. I was beginning my own journey. Although it took years of intense emotional upheaval, looking back sheds light upon a path less taken with only my name on it. My path. The only way to true happiness.
In the intention of knowing ones self on a deeper level and raising our consciousness, true enlightenment comes from bringing in the light to overcome the darkness. Healing emotional wounds and releasing flawed values about our imperfect sinful nature requires a great deal of loving yourself….and this is where you begin …learn to truly love who you are. Forgive your dysfunctional intellectual programming. Own your emotional wounds. Honor your inner child. Stand up for your true authentic self. Follow your heart. Be you ❤